I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
