what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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