i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
