You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
