i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just google imaged poop.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
