I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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