He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Michael Bay diarrhea
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
So squirting runs in the family.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
