I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i will never coherently bang her
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
