i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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