He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You need a sexual gate keeper
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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