She's JV to your varsity
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize