i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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