I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
