Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
