I didn't shave. On purpose
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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