My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize