This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
