When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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