oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize