I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
