Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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