I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize