I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
