Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Randomize
