Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
