It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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