I'm going to jail i love you
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
she looked like the before picture.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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