so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
