That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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