There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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