remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Acid is not a monday night drug
My vagina just recognized that song.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Randomize
