i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
