someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
