he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
