Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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