Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
