Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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