i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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