Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
