Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
