you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We are two peas in an std pod
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I am naked and annoyed.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
