Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize