that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
