Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
