i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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