Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
