Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
