i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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