i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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