Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
