i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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