And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
