I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
