yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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