In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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