I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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