Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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