I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize