as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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