i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
