Hey man sorry I got all grabby
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
