That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
