I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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