Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
too bad you live with your parents still
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
