I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
