Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
