You're so nebulous sometimes
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
