Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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